Even with all the trauma of the past you carried on loving. They tried to break you but instead you were going to use them as guides, to prevent you from walking into similar situations. However, this time you ignored the warning flags on purpose. It was something new and exciting, nothing like the past but just as damaging.
Now you’re tormented emotionally and physically, drowning in anxieties and insecurities. Every night you don’t sleep, what good are dreams when you wake up to this unfortunate reality.
Why do you stay?
Embarrassed? Worried others will see your mistake and talk about it; so are you trying to avoid people who will tell you “I told you so”. Also you do not understand how you allowed yourself to fall this far, it was so unlike you and you cannot face yourself. You stay convinced it’s too late to leave, that too much investment has gone in and that it is your own fault.
Why are you telling yourself you don’t deserve better?
When did you start to believe you are not worthy?
Oh lovely girl, that mirror that you stare into is distorting your vision. The mirror is the one with the cracks on it. Why don’t you buy a new one and look again. I dare you to! Look upon yourself through the fresh glass and tell me what you see.
I know you’ll see a girl, a little tired and limp but still she has life. That girl is a fighter and yes the battles have happened but those are scars not open wounds. The lie that you believed was that you would bleed forever; you told yourself because you had a deficit you could not recover. It is not the truth.
The key to your freedom depends on you coming into yourself; do not look at what was lost but at what is left, there is still plenty of life in you. Now walk away from that situation, with your head held high live again.
This is for you Ria, don’t stay and let him hit you again.