I’m sorry, I could not be like the others;
I wanted too much to be different.
Keeping up to them was impossible,
So I stopped trying and hurt you.
I will punish myself,
For not being able to live up to your hopes of me.
In your visions you saw me great,
thought the world was mine.
Now you are forced to confront who I am really am, weak and weary all the time I fall.
It is hard for you to understand, how jaded I am and how I cry all the time.
The real me makes you sick, you don’t say it but I see how you avoid me.
I’ll punish myself for letting you down.
I’ll lock myself in that room until I become someone you can be proud of mum.