This Time I Will

“That is why your life is the way it is!”
Out of anger you say this,
You know that it would hurt me.
You and I both know my struggles,
How I cry and wish I was someone else.
When we are good you support me,
When we are mad you injure me,
I tell you that you suffocate me,
And you cannot handle the truth.
You tell me that I am a failure,
And I cannot respond.
It looks like I am.
Nothing has gone right for me.
I used to self-destruct frequently
And always start over.
It is my own fault that my life is like this,
My own fault but I still feel.
The past mistakes follow me,
Reminding me I can go no further.
Before I was aimless and jaded
You cared for me,
Now I am coming into my own
You avoid me.
My life is like this because I am rebuilding
There is not much to see,
Because all the work is in the ground.
Deep beneath the surface,
There are roots and a solid foundation.
This time I will grow and not fall.
I have learnt,
To hold myself up.

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