Comparison is a big issue that knocks me down. I could be feeling great, suddenly I think about someone and what they have then look back at my own and feel low about my situation.
When I don’t leave the thought quickly and let it take room in my soul, I get filled with other negative emotions such as bitterness and jealously. I have even notice that the more I replay the person or image I can become mean, putting them down in my head saying “why do they deserve that”?
It is not material possessions that shake me up the most but someone doing something well and when I do it I struggle. The fact that we both got the same chance and have different results makes me feel like I can’t function properly. “Why did they do better than me? If they can do it, why can’t I? What is wrong with me?” Singing this song of self pity, because I am hurt and insecure thinking I am not progressing like everyone else.
I am not everyone, I am me and there are things that only I can do well. However, I don’t focus on that but constantly measure myself against other people and what their strengths are. In this period I am taking the time to cleanse myself from negative emotions such as comparison. It does not happen all the time, but when it does I get stuck and disappointed, leading to me actually not doing anything right because I would be caught up in trying to competite.
The only person I should measure myself against is the better version of me I aspire to be; other people aren’t going where I want or becoming who I want so it does not make sense to use them as marking guides. It is also unfair to myself to compare to someone who has different abilities, circumstances and resources than me; even when they seem to be doing what I want, they still are going about it in a different direction and it doesn’t seem wise to chase after them and end up somewhere I did not plan on.
I have a vision of who I want to be, where I want to go and how I want to get, so I will make that what I look up at to encourage me to get better. Comparing myself to a version I would like to be does not need to turn into obsession or pressure; adding stress because I’m not where I want and I keep making mistakes that I said I would be done with. I want to live knowing that all the time there is more for me, focusing on behaviour and character; not material possessions or status.
I see a version of myself that makes smart decisions, so when I want to act in the moment I compare how the me who is patient will react and what she would do.
Someone who does not build a wall out of pride to prevent people from seeing all of you; there is something in opening up and sharing with others knowing there is nothing wrong with struggling and it does not make you less than.
I’m leaving comparison behind, it weighs too much on my soul.
Thank you for reading this post! Would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, message me telling me how you deal with comparison.
‘sfjTheOutcome’ is a creative and life blog. I post three times a week; a mix of poetry, creative nonfiction and life posts on my story. To read more content visit the blog and to learn more about me follow me on social media Instagram& Twitter @sfjtheoutcome
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