Dear Diary… I Am Rebuilding, But It Is Painful

“That is why your life is the way it is!”
Out of anger you say this,
You know that it would hurt me.
I tell you that you suffocate me,
And you cannot handle the truth.
You tell me that I am a failure,
I cannot respond it looks like I am.

You and I both know my struggles,
How I cry and wish I was someone else.
Nothing has gone right for me.
It is my own fault that my life is like this,
My own fault but I still feel.

My past mistakes follow me,
Reminding me I can go no further.
Before I was aimless and jaded
You cared for me,
Now I am coming into my own
You avoid me.

My life is like this,
Full of uncertainties and bumps;
It is because I am rebuilding.
There is not much to see,
But I know there is something there.
All the work is simply in the ground.

Deep beneath the surface,
There are roots and a solid foundation.
They are taking their time coming together.
It is a sensitive task for longevity,
This time I will grow and not fall.
I have become self-aware,
I have learnt to hold myself up.

Buy Jem a coffeeBuy Jem a coffee

Thank you for reading this poem. If you are able to help me on my journey of growth as a creator I’d really appreciate it if you can support me by buying me a coffee. Your generous gift will be a huge impact on the things I can do.

Jemima xx

 

 

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