How Far Will I Go To Have That Moment Again?

What if I spend my whole life trying to recreate that moment again? What if I never manage to make it happen?

Hey everyone, I took a selfie as I normally do when I’m feeling myself. This picture that I took of myself was so good, everything was right from the pose to the lighting. Then a fews days later I thought I’d take more in exactly the same way. But I ended up not being able to no matter what I did. I moved my tripod, changed my angles; still  the pictures were just not turning out like the one I took the other day. I got really frustrated because I did everything the same to try recreate it but it didn’t work.

However, I was not going to give up. It didn’t make sense for me to go back to how I used to take pictures. After experiencing such high level photography I can’t possible settle for less anymore. Regardless of my efforts I just wasn’t able to and now every time I take a picture at the back of my mind I know I am still trying to recreate that moment once more.

See I don’t only do this with photos, I do it will food, friends and spirituality. I have an amazing encounter and it changes my perspective or my mood. It was so good that I want it to happen again. There is nothing wrong with wanting good memories it’s just sometimes I lose myself and become obsessive with wanting something a particular way. Unsatisfied with what is infront because it doesn’t match up to that previous incredible moment.

The thing about the moments that I fall in love with is that they are never planned. I fail to realise that my manipulating situations is actually getting in the way of me experiencing more awesomeness. If I spend the rest of my life always trying to recreate moments, even if I make it happen they won’t be as meaningful. I’ll know what I had to do to get there and I’ll know it wasn’t natural and I’ll know that honestly I am too tired to even enjoy it at present.

Now I am working on loving the once in a life time moments, writing it down if to remind myself things were so good. Then looking back up at life and smiling waiting for what’s next. I am not going to keep trying to recreate what made me happy once and think that will solve everything. I want to also enjoy the calmness of normal and routine. I even want to enjoy being bored or bad food. I just don’t want to waste my life always being preoccupied about the past that I want again, when there is more time ahead to embrace.

Thank you all for reading, I think life is about just sticking through all the seasons. Always wanting happiness or excitement actually makes us miss out on getting to experience things genuinely.

Jemima xx

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